By Jay Levon
Recently,
I was set up on a blind date,
and arranged to meet the girl
at a rather upscale restaurant.
When she arrived I was dumbstruck.
She had a long blond weave, fake boobs,
was six feet tall, and wearing
drag queen make up.
“Holy Hell, is there anything
about you that’s real,” I asked.
“Yes asshole,” she answered.
“My appetite, I hope you brought
an extra credit card.”
Then she proceeded to devour
3 lobsters, 2 sirloins, and 4
pitchers of beer.
(I had water and a salad)
After she loudly announced
the need to “take a monster dump”
and lumbered toward the bathroom
I paid the bill, and ran for my life.
Clutching at Straws 