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By Luis Rivas

i have these dreams
where i finally find and confront
the private contractor who never
paid me or my brother for a couple
weeks of cement mixing, painting
plastering and general construction
work, where i try hard in controlling
my breathing, trying not to let the
rage take over, how i coolly explain
to him that we either handle this by
immediate payment or i stick a
knife in his throat

and he says that he’s sorry and
that he doesn’t have the money
and his eyes turn into deer eyes
and i can’t stop from shaking
feeling my anger taking over
almost crying with rage and relief
stabbing him, thrusting my pocket
knife into his neck as deep as i can
picturing my grip completely going
through his throat, searching his deer
eyes, soft and almond shaped
watching his sick, cheating, greedy
exploiting life leave his body, his
eyes turning gray and dull, then
pulling the knife out and doing it
again, glad, relieved that i’m doing
this, that it has come down to this
scenario, that it ended with him not
willing or wanting to pay because
i have wanted this

but i am hoping, hoping i don’t find
him but secretly i am wanting nothing
else more and i’ve been carrying
a knife ever since

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