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By John Schlegel

Is it too soon for this metaphor?
Should I wait until the day after
the next wildfire or hurricane?
Or were the tornados enough?

You see, the problem with earthquakes,
or should I say MY earthquakes,
is that the epicenter is always me.
The damage is entirely on my block,
because I live on the edge of my
own personal San Andreas fault.
Who knew my tectonic plates
constantly shift especially
after a long dinner with you?
Earthquakes can be disasters
like hurricanes, so they should be named,
and if they are mine, after a woman.
We have breaking news
an earthquake just hit Torrance.
The magnitude hasn’t been determined yet,
but we know of one condo
that has been leveled.
Aftershocks continue to rumble.
You see, the problem with earthquakes
is that no matter how many foreshocks
strike I never see them coming
and I’m never truly prepared.
A stockpile of canned food, water,
and batteries do nothing for me.
You see, the problem with earthquakes
is that the P-waves shake me in the same
and opposite direction that the waves are moving,
and I don’t know which way to run.

Is it too soon for this metaphor?
Should I wait until the day after
the next wildfire or hurricane?
Or were the tornados enough?

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