Archive for the ‘Meg Johnson’ Category

I Don’t Get It

By Meg Johnson

I have so many questions about the world.
Why do I only see ugly people reading
The New Yorker? Did Jesus really happen?
Has there ever been a book called Showering
with Jesus
? Someone look that up for me.
I’m too tired from being stalked by lesbian
bartenders. Sometimes lesbian bartenders
look at me with hungry eyes. Do they think I
taste like a potato chip? Lots of people have
PhDs, but none of them can tell me what
Shakespeare’s writing process was like. Screw
higher education. I’m gonna have a séance.

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