By Meg Johnson
I have so many questions about the world.
Why do I only see ugly people reading
The New Yorker? Did Jesus really happen?
Has there ever been a book called Showering
with Jesus? Someone look that up for me.
I’m too tired from being stalked by lesbian
bartenders. Sometimes lesbian bartenders
look at me with hungry eyes. Do they think I
taste like a potato chip? Lots of people have
PhDs, but none of them can tell me what
Shakespeare’s writing process was like. Screw
higher education. I’m gonna have a séance.