By Colleen Redman
I’m pretty sure Jesus is a morning person
that he wakes up in a good mood
He denies he ever spoke personally to George Bush
Maybe he spoke to Bob Dylan
Jesus wears a bathrobe and reads the obituaries
He has a long braid like Willie Nelson’s
He drinks his tea black
leaves the cap off the toothpaste
and never uses an ATM machine
He’s never won a poetry slam
or been published in the New Yorker
He runs full page ads in the New York Times
and blushes when he’s on the cover
of People Magazine: Sexiest Man Alive
Jesus painted graffiti on the Christiansburg Kmart in 1989
Next to a blue planet in bold black letters
he wrote: ON THE EIGHTH DAY WE PAVED IT
He left it unsigned
Clutching at Straws 