By Daniel Wilcox
Ever notice the uh lowdown
Graded scale of modern
Everyone and uh each thing gets
An uh F?
Deep in the wordless night
You give your uh wife a lot of F,
Yet when the uh idiot in the Chev
Cuts you off on the freeway
You yell uh F to him not uh her,
And at the uh ref, too, on Friday night.
But your sweet wife’s fantastic
Dish of uh lasagna gets an F n’ good!
While your pooch when he uh poops
On the new uh red carpet is F’d,
Not uh her.
And uh don’t forget the brownnoser
At work who falsely uh blamed
You. He gets an F too.
Nor should you forget when
Uh hit your thumb–
F n’ hammer.
Yes, talk is one four-letter grade;
The grade is uh F-ine.
Let’s uh remember
The other side of the grading uh scale–
Most everyone uh gets an A too,
They’re all donkey O’s;
Round kicks of your uh mouthing,
Yeah uh right, uh ya’ know uh…