Glossophobia

By Larry Jones

I’m not afraid of flying
I’m not afraid of clowns
I’m not afraid of bees
I’m not afraid of being rained on
I’m not afraid of bald people
I’m not afraid of the Pope
I’m not afraid of being hypnotized
I’m not afraid of Friday the 13th
I’m not afraid of meat
I’m not afraid of being tickled by feathers
I’m not afraid of nosebleeds
I’m not afraid of death
I’m not afraid of female genitalia
I’m not afraid of the moon
I’m not afraid of the great mole rat
I’m not afraid of rectal disease
I’m not afraid of the color purple
but please don’t ask me
to be a guest on a poetry radio show.

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Heroes, Cowards, and Fools Like Me

By Larry Jones

We sit eating lunch
at the workplace
watching
the man outside
as he fills the
massive
propane
tank.

A spark—flames
then……RUN
screams
the
boss.

Not
everyone
runs.

The man fights
the fire with
handfuls
of
snow.

Someone hands him
a fire extinguisher
through the window
and the
danger
is
over.

The boss returns
with the others
he threatens to terminate
the ones who stayed
says they
could’ve
been
killed.

There will always be
heroes
always be those who
run and
fools like me
who will stick around
just to see
what’ll
happen
next.

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Hot Dog

By Larry Jones

Mustard
on my mustache.

Relish
on my shirt.

A whole heap of
self indulgence

on
my
mind.

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without trying

By Larry Jones

all the things
people
say and do
pretentious
frauds.
all the things
I
say & do
bullshit
phony.
at my feet
a dog
without trying
finally
the
truth.

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Where In The Hell Did He Come From?

By Larry Jones

nice day
for a solo skydive
as i exit the plane.

free falling
no fear
if the main doesn’t open
the reserve will.

one

minute

of

the

big

rush.

check the altimeter
time to open, WAIT
what the ???????

someone is directly
below me in free fall.

where in the hell did he come from?

gotta move fast
track right
shit
he tracks right.

quick
track left
the SOB tracks left too.

then
suddenly
a voice in my head
says
it’s you, it’s your reflection.

i open my parachute.

what a wussy
afraid of my own shadow.

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The Question

By Larry Jones

The old woman said,

“I survived the earthquake,
I survived the tsunami,
but,
is it a good thing,
or is it a bad thing?

I don’t know.”

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first day on the job

By Larry Jones

have a seat
on top of the cooler.

turn on the gas.
relax,
have a smoke if you’d like.

by the time
you’ve finished your cigarette,

the kicking will have stopped.

turn off the gas,
open the cooler,
place them in a plastic bag.

take them out to the dumpster.

there you have it,
ten dead piglets,

last day on the job.

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something for nothing

By Larry Jones

Hey Mister,
wanna buy a rock?

A little girl,
maybe eight years old,

her table set up
her mother nearby
and a sign,

10 cent rocks
25 cent rocks
50 cent rocks

I bought a fifty cent rock,
tipped her a quarter.

What kind of parent
teaches their kid
this kind of shit?

What kind of man
goes along with the hustle
and
gives a little girl
something for nothing?

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The Milk Man

By Larry Jones

Blame it on the woman,
the cop
the church.

On the soldier,
the left
the right.

Blame it on Obama,
Elvis
Smith/Jones
Bush.

On the black man,
white man
rich man
poor man
milk man.

The problem,
man,
is little ol’ you.

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retired

By Larry Jones

the next person
that asks me
how i like being
retired
i’m going to tell them the
truth
thank god
i don’t have to be around
you
or all the other people exactly like
you
have a nice
life

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